You suddenly left me hanging. without saying any reason. the only reason you said was,
"I've tried, but I can't"
I keep wondering. Was it because of me? Am I pushing him too hard? Did I do anything wrong? Cause I remember few days before, we were in good terms. We talked a lot because we missed our times together.
Yes. We did argued few weeks before we broke up. But, you came back. And I forgave you. I even have this thought, "maybe I should try to understand him. Maybe he's working hard because he really want me." Shame on me to have this thought.
I did love him, so much.
There was a time when he involved in a parade. And I really want to support him. I even walked miles just to see him marching in the parade. And then I realised, my feet bled. The blood stained all over my socks. That time I didn't feel any pain.
When I looked back to that moment, I feel dumb. Stupid. Those are the right words for me. Why did I do that to myself? Why did I hurt myself. Why? Why?
I never want to blame myself. I think I did enough. Maybe you found another person that suits your taste. Or maybe you actually don't want me anymore. Idk.
I am done. I don't think I am ready enough to open my heart again. I really want to focus more on myself.
To you, thank you for loving me as who I am. I really do want to know the main reason why you suddenly decided to leave me. But that was before. If we ever to meet again, let's just pretend we don't know each other. You hurt me, a lot. Thank you for the pain. I will make sure I'll come back stronger.
To me,
Let's just focus on me. Don't ever hurt myself, okay?
This post is just words that I couldn't say to others. So, I'll just keep it here. Bye, all. Bye, you.
